christmas feels

restringing lights. peppermint bark. watching it's a wonderful life with the fam. the snow forcasted for christmas day. believe by josh groban. glittery red bulbs. taking photos. chess with ju at the library. visiting our great gma. cut out + baked + decorated a bunch of sugar cookies. charging camera battery for christmas morning. wrapped gifts hidden in my closet. made fudge. driving home in the dark. ^^ iphone pics. reading new books. grandpa coming over to stay the night. helping wrap gifts. creating a christmas morning playlist. red curtains. decorating the tree. baking pie + other goodies. watching the nativity story tonight. reading about Jesus' birth together. eating chexmix. skyping with family.

merry Christmas all!!

"for there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord." luke 2:11

what i did / learned in 2017

looking back at my 2017 goals, well, I basically flopped most of them. but you know..I think that's okay -- so many more things happened that I could never have planned or foreseen 

a lot of things happened -- things I didn't even expect. it was a different year with a ton of new experiences for me. I had to juggle a lot of stuff and deal with stress and my perfectionism. I read the Bible and prayed tons. I had to adjust Julia working at the library after we had worked together all summer long. I learned that prayer is really important and something we all need to take more time + focus on. I learned that my to-do list wasn't everything, and it was okay if things didn't get done. I learned that life isn't, and can't be planned out and that its okay

so what's going to be happening next year? I honestly have no idea. craziness, probably. Next year will be my last year of school (after I finish this grade in the spring). my sisters will likely be trying to drag me on a plane to visit our grandparents on the East Coast heh. maybe I'll write, or finish my novel. idk. I'll be driving and logging hours. joining summer reading and doing more volunteering. reading the bible more + growing my relationship with Jesus. taking photos and doodling. likely working at the CSA next summer again. and who knows what else. all I know is, some of the stuff I just listed may not happen, but I'm pretty sure other stuff will 

it was an awesome year. I think my main goal for this year was to live in the moment, pray more, and enjoy the little things. I feel like I've accomplished that, and want to keep going with it all as I learn and experience new things with the days God has given me. idk what 2018 is going to bring, but I guess we'll find out :))

don't let your to do list consume you

don't let the busy consume you

get your things done, but don't let your to-do list run your life. leave time for listening -- don't always be a go go go human -- and don't miss the little moments because you are so busy. the stress of it all will get to you, and wear you down [even if you don't realize it]. don't expect perfection from yourself, but do the best you can.

the stuff on your to-do list won't always get done. it's okay. just hand your stress over to God and don't worry. stuff will happen. life will be lived.

be a voice

idk about you, but when I was little I just sort of thought that when I was older, I'd know what I'd be doing with my life -- that i'd have everything all set and figured out (lol wowoww wasn't I so smart). but yeah, growing up, I think i've always been trying to figure out what I should be doing -- what my "gift" is, and how I could impact others for Jesus.

In first Corinthians is says ..."each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that." << basically, God doesn't make people with carbon copied gifts. they are all unique, and all for different purposes [some that will impact in ways that we may not know for a long time, or may even never know]

'Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity.' << 1st timothy 4:12

don't assume that you are too young to make a difference, or that what you say or do doesn't really matter or change anything. because, more and more I've been realizing how the voice of one can effect another, and another, and another -- and multiply until it's not just a voice, but a mass of voices. and these voices are so much stronger than that voice that previously stood alone

but what if that voice hadn't spoken up

what if that one person hadn't been brave enough

what if that one person had neglected that gift God had given them

don't just assume that some other person can do that job of speaking up -- of being the first voice. or that you are too young, or not good at it -- what if that person assumes the same of someone else? and the next?

this doesn't mean we were all created to stand on the soapbox. what I mean is, being the first voice doesn't always mean speaking out. it can also be an act. to change something, or to stand your ground for Christ. and speaking out isn't the whole thing -- there are /so/ many other ways we can impact others for Jesus

In second Corinthians it says we are ambassadors for Christ. We can't let the fear of being the first to raise our voices for Jesus win. we all have gifts, in one thing or another -- are we using them?

wait, listen, and focus on what God has given you right now. don't worry if you aren't doing something "big" right now. God has given you something to master for this moment, and He'll bring you something else later. don't worry about the future, don't waste a moment. 

'Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong. Let all that you do be done with love.' 1 corinthians 16:13

[just something I've been working on and some thoughts that have been happening so idek if it makes any sense, lol]

autumn feels

A U T U M N   F E E L S :

it's getting colder and much more fallish, work is slowing down because it's so cold *sniffs*, Julia and I made 92 blueberry muffins last wednesday, peppermint cocoa and warm apple cider, its raining outside, notes to study for tests, feeling like writing something, took my siblings fall pics, flipping through my bible and finding random notes I've scratched there, thinking about nano, a newly released book I've been waiting for is coming in at the library, fallish color yarn, made fudge and it actually worked, knitting to do, a thousand tabs open, baking carrot cake later today, sitting on the couch and chilling, soft blankets, reading janette okes books, christmas lights + rainy days = fall, feeling inspired

about prayer

p r a y e r 

so is it this thing where someone asks for prayers for something and you go "aww, totally praying for you!!" ... and then maybe...you don't really? bc I mean, we all know that saying and doing are two completely different things and does saying you'll pray really count as prayer??...

prayer is real. so utterly real. prayers are talking to God. before Jesus came, people couldn't talk to Him the way we can now. When He died on that cross for us, that veil of separating split -- so...why do we treat it as if its nothing special?

then you will call on Me and come and pray to Me and I will listen to you - jeremiah 29:12

praying isn't rocket science. it can be, if you make it that way, but, honestly, it isn't. it's just talking with God. we talk with people all the time, why should it be so different?? when you pray, you don't always have to be jabbering on trying to fill "silence" or not be "boring" to God bc sometimes...silence is better.

and when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words - matthew 6:7

don't forget to listen. i'll admit, prayers have always been hard for me. I've often been frustrated with myself -- like, how do you even begin to talk to the One who created you? like, He already knows everything so what are you even supposed to say? just talk with Him like you would your best friend. my prayers have been turning into "talks" more and just plain sporadicness. I tell Him about my day, the good and bad, even though He already knows all about it. but...I can /feel/ the realness more -- I find myself sporadically talking with Him throughout the day and just...thanking Him for random things. maybe prayers and talking are the same thing, or maybe they aren't - idk, but it feels more real for me when I just talk

He's here guys, with us at all times -- Just talk with Him. I mean, He's a great listener for a stressed human like me and will even take it all away if you ask Him to (even countless times after I keep taking it back again :P) take a few minutes and just refocus. Talk with Jesus. Tell Him what's up in your life. He's there listening, trust me.

basically, I wrote this post because it's something I've really been feeling lately. time is SHORT people. SO very short -- and I feel like I've just been so busy lately, and I'm just trying to make sure I don't let busyness overtake Jesus and everything else that's really important in my life bc honestly, it's not worth the trade

vacation :)