HOW ARE YOU FOR REAL?

how are you?

I'm pretty sure we've all lied to that question, even if you didn't realize or mean to. I'm pretty sure we all hold the true response back bc

1) its our problem, we tell ourselves. not even a big deal anyways
2) maybe we are afraid and don't want to face the truth/answer the question ourselves
3) (depending on the person) they don't rly want to know anyways. its just a formality

sometimes when asked that question my quick response is "good", and then I hesitate inwardly but ignore it, shrugging it off. but maybe that's not ok.

healing is a journey, it doesn't happen overnight. healing doesnt always mean you won't stumble and slip back. healing is realizing that you aren't all "good" and that thats okay. healing it talking with someone you trust, even to get it off your chest. healing is learning to love, live and laugh again. healing is taking a break, and knowing that that break is ok. healing is pushing forward, even when you don't want to. healing is a ritual of handing your life and fears over to Jesus - over, and over, and over and over again. healing is realizing that its ok, even things don't turn out ok. healing is taking a step.

so. how are you for real?

p.s. honestly, this post may or may not be as much for myself to figure out some thoughts + look back on as it is for all of you. but I rly hope that this'll be a bit of encouragement for someone else out there xxxxxx

CAMPING FEELS OF TWENTY EIGHTEEN

[we went camping the other weekend] [total cars we jumped during the weekend: 3] [fishing aka sat around and laughed so hard about idek what which might be why we didn't catch anything oops] [we did catch weeds "good for vegetarians" my dad said"] [picked flowers and pressed them and listened to music as we journaled] [slept in the back of julias car. we put the seats and sleeping bags down and it was actually rly cozy lol who knew] [kinda like iced coffee now what is the world coming to] [dad told us stories around the campfire about when he was a kid] [i dropped my waffle on the ground after it was perfectly toasted i may need therapy] [jk jk] [bike riding across the dam and swam in the lake] [biking back uphill was harder lol] [the power was out in the whole park ha ahaha] [10:36 pm it came back on and you could hear everyone in the whole camp cheering. good feels] 

JULY TWENTY EIGHTEEN

JULY

• passed segment 2 of drivers ed!!
• took my camera out and have been using it more which i've been loving
• went camping (post on this soon!! <3)
• my library had a teen card tournament and i won second place!! good times with frens XD plus my team unlocked the break in box for another event with 5. SECONDS. TO. SPARE. !!!!!

• been taking walks and more bike rides and picking and pressing many flowers (i have books and books fuulll haha)
• i made a diy chess table!! 
• so somehow summer reading is over tomorrow :'''''( and its august now. hoowww
• still journaling lots (help i'm drowning in notebooks haha)
• ju and i baked 230 cookies and picked lootttttttssss of flowers lolol